I am scared and excited about the birth of Jesse. When I think about holding him, meeting him, snuggling him and watching him grow I am so excited! But, when I think about all that is going to be on my plate and trying to learn to balance it all after he is here with us--all that I do now plus two babies to care for!! I am pretty overwhelmed. Not to worry though, I'll figure it out. The scarier thing is that I don't want this to be my last pregnancy or baby. At this point, even right now at this very moment as I type this being 7 months pregnant, exhausted, often very moody:) and sometimes overwhelmed I cannot imagine and don't even want to try to imagine not being pregnant again. I was watching Jack run around at my parent's house this evening--running around on his little tip-toes and I thought, "I do not want this phase to end." I have really watched Joe mature greatly the last few months. He is still my little "cling-on" in a big way--right now he won't even stay without me long enough for me to run errands unless it is with Jamie. (The sad thing about this is I actually find it heartwarming and flattering!) Anyway, even though he is still very emotionally attached, he has matured so much in his ablitly to communicate and conversate. He is really growing in these areas. He is looking so much more boyish too. Hanna talks about shaving and such these days--lets hold off a bit, Hanna:-), not so fast:-)! My point is, I can't imagine this being the end of my baby days after Jesse.
As tiring as this phase of life is some days, emotionally and physically, and I know it's about to get even crazier--I love where I am right now! I love being "stuck", as lots of others say too often, in my home every single day of my life with my precious children! I love everything I do for them and see it all (on the good days at least:-) ) as I am "blessed" to do....not I "have" to do. My family are my best friends and I love them more than I could ever begin to write or even say to them. I don't always do my best at showing it through my actions. I'd like to hope we all feel this way sometimes....but I hope they know how important they are to me, I try to tell them very often.
I could go on and on and on tonight but I need to go to bed. Most of the action is over at my homeschool blog these days. Make sure and read all that we are doing, we are having a blast!! Right now though, I am going to go get sweet Jack out of his crib to do his nightly a.m. diaper change (or we will find him soaked--crib sheets too--from a much too full, leaky diaper each morning!) change his diaper, snuggle him for a minute and then "tuck" him back in and get some sleep myself before morning comes much too quick!
We've had a busy weekend. I had intended on posting about it, pictures and all tonight, but Hanna stayed up late for our Saturday night fun night with her and I just didn't get to it. I will tomorrow! Got some good pictures of the kids today playing at mom's and dad's.
As I often do lately, I find myself feeling so very thankful for my husband and children tonight. I am just so truly blessed and I owe so much thanks to my Heavenly Father for blessing me every day with so much more than I feel I deserve! I hope that through my daily actions He knows how thankful I am for my blessings! And that when I do fall short, which is often, He knows how very sorry I am and the true intentions of my heart. My family is my forever and I owe that to Him too.
I sobbed for three months after Eiley was born because I don't want her to be my last. Probably won't...We'll see in a few years. You are such a good mom. You'll figure it out. You have stability and support. Most of all you love your family. You'll make it all work and you'll do a great job in the process.
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